between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
so much tequila, so little girl.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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