Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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