I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
