two words: eviction party
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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