my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
