Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
