All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
MIDGETS
????
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
