So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
