You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize
