hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
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