He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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