Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
