HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
