So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
