As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
