This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
