it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
You made out with two different species that night
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
