I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
