No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
