On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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