I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
