The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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