TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
