would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize
