i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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