found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
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