Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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