you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
