3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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