help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
