Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
