Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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