Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
