That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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