we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
