I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
