Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
