yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
