I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
