I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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