There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
