there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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