I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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