That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
