"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
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