We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
