im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I'm getting married
To pizza
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
