I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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