Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
