Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
