the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Randomize
